I have had a few individuals contact me w/ a question similar to this:
"I wonder..you write of a time of prosperity, power, and control..why didn't you seek your God then?"
I should have made this more clear in my testimony....I did.
I was still "at the top of my game" when I first began to seek God.
It was about two months later that everything began to spiral down from a fiscal perspective.
For the record, as of this date, fiscal matters continue to spiral down.
But that's OK.
In hindsight, I really think it also took that "fiscal spiral" for me to begin trying to get my ego in check and learning to trust in Christ as opposed to only myself.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.(ESV)
-Will
I Despise Christianity
That’s exactly what I would have said a few years ago if you asked me.
Matter of fact, it’s what I would have said 5 years ago…10 years ago…25 years ago.
Not only is it what I would have said, it’s what I’ve actually said…on many occasions. With enthusiasm.
Jesus, thank you for forgiving me for my arrogance.
Growing up, as a kid in Cranberry Pa, I was lucky enough to have the ideal family.
Mom & Dad were both teachers. I have 2 older brothers. We didn’t have much as far as money was concerned…but we had love.
We went to church & Sunday school on occasion. Enough to get a grip on the basics.
I believe that the first 12 years of my life were as close to Heaven on Earth as one could experience.
“Will, your Dad is dead”.
I can hear those words in my mind as if they were spoken this morning. I was in 7th grade & my Dad was my homeroom teacher & my history teacher.
Dad never smoked or drank and he was a lifelong athlete.
He died of a heart attack at age 45 while turkey hunting.
We were “comforted” by friends and church members at the funeral by explaining how this was all just a part of God’s great plan.
These same church members were non-existent within a couple weeks of Dad’s death. We stopped going. Out of sight…out of mind, welcome to life.
In a nut shell, my teen years consisted of a mix of an extremely high feeling of protectiveness for my Mom and a supernatural level of rage towards just about everything else.
The following 2 statements became the foundation for a lifetime of empty success:
-Do it on your own because no one else will be there for you.
-I’m right. I’m better than you. And I will be either respected or feared…or both.
I left for the USMC the day after I graduated from high school in 1988.As a point of advice to one who might be considering military service : I can say nothing but good things about the U.S. Marine Corps or any of the other branches of the U.S. Armed Forces. They are all excellent organizations filled to the brim with intelligent young men and women who personify the absolute pinnacle of "all things good" with our nation's character.
I do not, however, recommend that you consider missing your connecting flight to boot camp because you are 18 years old and drinking in the airport bar in Charlotte, NC. I can assure you that the Drill Instructors at Parris Island, SC will be less than understanding when you arrive.
To make a long story short, the first several years of my time in the USMC were stellar. The bottom line is that I excelled. I was referred to as “The Golden Child”.
Then, in 1992, Mom was diagnosed w/Leukemia. Mom fought the good fight and was in and out of remission…but On Dec 3rd, 1993 I was sat down and told:
“Son, it’s about your Mom, she passed away”
I've been told that her last few minutes were anything but peaceful. I've been told that, before she died, she lay in her hospital bed screaming about the pain in her head. "Make it stop, make it stop. It hurts, it hurts." These are the quotes I was eventually given.
No matter how hard I search for words to explain the depth of anguish I felt...I come up empty. But the moral of the story is that I attended yet another funeral.
Yet again, I was “comforted” w/how this was a part of God’s plan.
My complete & total burning hatred of all things Christian was complete.
My guttural desire to honor the memory of my parents was also sealed. I would simply be the best at everything I did…and I would destroy anyone who dared compete w/me.
Superman
I can summarize 1993-2006 as follows:
Started by living in a 20 year old rented double-wide….
I went on to serve as a Drill Instructor at Paris Island.
After a few years as a successful DI, I left the Marine Corps to open an extremely successful martial arts school in SC.
I then moved on to real estate and investment in 1998.
Within a very short time I became one of the top producing agents in our area of SC.
The net result of all this?
Blah, Blah, Blah. Brag. Brag. Brag.
I no longer demanded the respect of others. I now demanded their worship. That’s the cold hard truth. Worship me or fear me.
Empty…
Despite an extremely high level of financial success and a very loving family…we were miserable. Something was missing.
“Emptiness” and a longing for “something more” were etched upon the souls of my family and me.
In short, what we felt we needed was to be “home”.
So, in May of 2006 we moved back to NW Pa.
A Bit of Backtracking…1993-2006
While I think I’ve made it clear that I considered Christianity to be totally bogus, I’ve always believed that a “higher power” certainly existed.
Reading has always been one of my gifts.
So, especially after the death of my Mom, I set off on a quest for truth.
Not only did I read non-stop…but if I wasn’t reading, I was listening to an audio-book. And always on religion.I’ve studied Buddhism, Islam, Deism, Hinduism, Quantum Physics, Gnosticism, Spiritualism, Wicca and more…about as much as any layman can.
I was most drawn to Wicca. With its eclectic emphasis on “all paths lead to the same center” and reverence for nature…it seemed like the ideal choice. The fact that Christians likely despised it above all others was another big plus.
But, deep inside, a part of me always considered all of the above to be a bit, well…goofy.
Jesus gets my attention
In May of 2006, a couple things happened at the same time:
1.) We moved to Pa
2.) Christ made me reluctantly hungry to study Christianity .
However, by June of 2007, I was very close to accepting the Lord Jesus Christ as my Savior.
But, I fought an internal dilemma.
Basic Internal Conflict:
I was becoming a Believer.
But, I was afraid.
I was afraid because I’d read so much about so many systems of belief that I feared that I would “Say the Magic Prayer”…and the find myself constantly questioning my decision.
So, in short, I wanted to believe, but my mind was being over analytical”.
“What if-this” and “What-about-that”
I didn’t want to “Believe” and then constantly draw on “intelligent” reasons not to believe.
So, late one night, I signed on to a Christian discussion board on the internet.
My question to the board: “In my HEART, I want to believe…but I’m afraid that my INTELLECT won’t allow me. I don’t want to spend my life second guessing myself”.
(Please remember this exact wording. I can only assure you that it was the EXACT wording of my question. You'll see it again shortly)
I instantly received a response from a board member:
1 Cr 3:19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, he taketh the wise in their own craftiness.
Shudders ran down my spine. The hair on my arm stood up. In one instant, I was confronted with the Truth after a lifetime of rage. Tears came to my eyes. I knew. I’d always known…I just choose to ignore.
But, in perfect “fallen” tradition, for some reason, I still wasn’t quite ready. I decided to sleep on it.
The next day I was excited inside. I KNEW that God had brought me to this point. All day I considered if I was REALLY ready to accept the Lord Jesus Christ as my Savior.
That night, we had Chinese for dinner. Please understand that, at this point, my family did NOT know I was even considering Christianity.
After dinner, I stepped into the backyard. Standing there alone, I was deep in thought over the “message” I had received on the Christian discussion board the night before.
Suddenly, my 8 year old daughter appeared at my side. She simply said “Here Dad”, handed me a small slip of paper & walked back inside.
It was the fortune from her fortune cookie. I keep that fortune in my Bible today.
That small slip of paper handed to me by my un-knowing 8 year old daughter read:
“THE HEART IS WISER THAN THE INTELLECT”.
I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my Savior.
-Will McCullough
Matter of fact, it’s what I would have said 5 years ago…10 years ago…25 years ago.
Not only is it what I would have said, it’s what I’ve actually said…on many occasions. With enthusiasm.
Jesus, thank you for forgiving me for my arrogance.
Growing up, as a kid in Cranberry Pa, I was lucky enough to have the ideal family.
Mom & Dad were both teachers. I have 2 older brothers. We didn’t have much as far as money was concerned…but we had love.
We went to church & Sunday school on occasion. Enough to get a grip on the basics.
I believe that the first 12 years of my life were as close to Heaven on Earth as one could experience.
“Will, your Dad is dead”.
I can hear those words in my mind as if they were spoken this morning. I was in 7th grade & my Dad was my homeroom teacher & my history teacher.
Dad never smoked or drank and he was a lifelong athlete.
He died of a heart attack at age 45 while turkey hunting.
We were “comforted” by friends and church members at the funeral by explaining how this was all just a part of God’s great plan.
These same church members were non-existent within a couple weeks of Dad’s death. We stopped going. Out of sight…out of mind, welcome to life.
In a nut shell, my teen years consisted of a mix of an extremely high feeling of protectiveness for my Mom and a supernatural level of rage towards just about everything else.
The following 2 statements became the foundation for a lifetime of empty success:
-Do it on your own because no one else will be there for you.
-I’m right. I’m better than you. And I will be either respected or feared…or both.
I left for the USMC the day after I graduated from high school in 1988.As a point of advice to one who might be considering military service : I can say nothing but good things about the U.S. Marine Corps or any of the other branches of the U.S. Armed Forces. They are all excellent organizations filled to the brim with intelligent young men and women who personify the absolute pinnacle of "all things good" with our nation's character.
I do not, however, recommend that you consider missing your connecting flight to boot camp because you are 18 years old and drinking in the airport bar in Charlotte, NC. I can assure you that the Drill Instructors at Parris Island, SC will be less than understanding when you arrive.
To make a long story short, the first several years of my time in the USMC were stellar. The bottom line is that I excelled. I was referred to as “The Golden Child”.
Then, in 1992, Mom was diagnosed w/Leukemia. Mom fought the good fight and was in and out of remission…but On Dec 3rd, 1993 I was sat down and told:
“Son, it’s about your Mom, she passed away”
I've been told that her last few minutes were anything but peaceful. I've been told that, before she died, she lay in her hospital bed screaming about the pain in her head. "Make it stop, make it stop. It hurts, it hurts." These are the quotes I was eventually given.
No matter how hard I search for words to explain the depth of anguish I felt...I come up empty. But the moral of the story is that I attended yet another funeral.
Yet again, I was “comforted” w/how this was a part of God’s plan.
My complete & total burning hatred of all things Christian was complete.
My guttural desire to honor the memory of my parents was also sealed. I would simply be the best at everything I did…and I would destroy anyone who dared compete w/me.
Superman
I can summarize 1993-2006 as follows:
Started by living in a 20 year old rented double-wide….
I went on to serve as a Drill Instructor at Paris Island.
After a few years as a successful DI, I left the Marine Corps to open an extremely successful martial arts school in SC.
I then moved on to real estate and investment in 1998.
Within a very short time I became one of the top producing agents in our area of SC.
The net result of all this?
Blah, Blah, Blah. Brag. Brag. Brag.
I no longer demanded the respect of others. I now demanded their worship. That’s the cold hard truth. Worship me or fear me.
Empty…
Despite an extremely high level of financial success and a very loving family…we were miserable. Something was missing.
“Emptiness” and a longing for “something more” were etched upon the souls of my family and me.
In short, what we felt we needed was to be “home”.
So, in May of 2006 we moved back to NW Pa.
A Bit of Backtracking…1993-2006
While I think I’ve made it clear that I considered Christianity to be totally bogus, I’ve always believed that a “higher power” certainly existed.
Reading has always been one of my gifts.
So, especially after the death of my Mom, I set off on a quest for truth.
Not only did I read non-stop…but if I wasn’t reading, I was listening to an audio-book. And always on religion.I’ve studied Buddhism, Islam, Deism, Hinduism, Quantum Physics, Gnosticism, Spiritualism, Wicca and more…about as much as any layman can.
I was most drawn to Wicca. With its eclectic emphasis on “all paths lead to the same center” and reverence for nature…it seemed like the ideal choice. The fact that Christians likely despised it above all others was another big plus.
But, deep inside, a part of me always considered all of the above to be a bit, well…goofy.
Jesus gets my attention
In May of 2006, a couple things happened at the same time:
1.) We moved to Pa
2.) Christ made me reluctantly hungry to study Christianity .
In a nutshell, here’s what happened from May ’06 to May ’07:
1.) I became a Realtor here in the Erie area in order to support my family.
2.) I began aggressively studying Christianity.
(At the time I justified it to myself ast "know thy enemy".)
However, by June of 2007, I was very close to accepting the Lord Jesus Christ as my Savior.
But, I fought an internal dilemma.
Basic Internal Conflict:
I was becoming a Believer.
But, I was afraid.
I was afraid because I’d read so much about so many systems of belief that I feared that I would “Say the Magic Prayer”…and the find myself constantly questioning my decision.
So, in short, I wanted to believe, but my mind was being over analytical”.
“What if-this” and “What-about-that”
I didn’t want to “Believe” and then constantly draw on “intelligent” reasons not to believe.
So, late one night, I signed on to a Christian discussion board on the internet.
My question to the board: “In my HEART, I want to believe…but I’m afraid that my INTELLECT won’t allow me. I don’t want to spend my life second guessing myself”.
(Please remember this exact wording. I can only assure you that it was the EXACT wording of my question. You'll see it again shortly)
I instantly received a response from a board member:
1 Cr 3:19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, he taketh the wise in their own craftiness.
Shudders ran down my spine. The hair on my arm stood up. In one instant, I was confronted with the Truth after a lifetime of rage. Tears came to my eyes. I knew. I’d always known…I just choose to ignore.
But, in perfect “fallen” tradition, for some reason, I still wasn’t quite ready. I decided to sleep on it.
The next day I was excited inside. I KNEW that God had brought me to this point. All day I considered if I was REALLY ready to accept the Lord Jesus Christ as my Savior.
That night, we had Chinese for dinner. Please understand that, at this point, my family did NOT know I was even considering Christianity.
After dinner, I stepped into the backyard. Standing there alone, I was deep in thought over the “message” I had received on the Christian discussion board the night before.
Suddenly, my 8 year old daughter appeared at my side. She simply said “Here Dad”, handed me a small slip of paper & walked back inside.
It was the fortune from her fortune cookie. I keep that fortune in my Bible today.
That small slip of paper handed to me by my un-knowing 8 year old daughter read:
“THE HEART IS WISER THAN THE INTELLECT”.
I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my Savior.
Since Then...
Looking back, I can honestly say that I had spent decades squandering my spiritual gifts towards the goal of promoting only myself. I feel as if I have wasted a large portion of my life on self-promotion and rage towards my fellow man and towards God.
So, feeling that I really needed to learn to serve God as opposed to serving myself, I took a break from real estate and spent a couple years serving in full-time volunteer ministry with Grace Church in Erie, Pa and then spent about 6 months serving as a pastor with the local Salvation Army.
After this journey, it became apparent to my family that "We had needed to come here...in order to go back". And, obviously, I needed to support my family.
So we made the decision to return to the town we loved, Beaufort, SC and re-enter the local real estate market.
But now, it's in the right perspective. It's still to support my family. It's still to do the best I possibly can for my clients.
But I now know what to put first.
So now, regardless of if I live one more day or 50 more years; I now dedicate my life, first and foremost, to serving & promoting the Lord Jesus Christ.-Will McCullough
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
That was a nice testimony, signed with full name. 2 Corinthians 5: "...6Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. 7We live by faith, not by sight. 8We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 9So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. 10For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. ..."
INVITATION
Invited hereby to my site
please be. You see I poems write
and knight like fight and youth alight.
That photo says it. Godly, right?
I want more readers. I want you
to come as if out from the blue
and tell me what I write is true
and make my motivation new.
Why you? This is not spam, God’s dear.
I stand by what I do. I care.
Your senseless love to me I fear.
I mean it. I am good. Take care.
Post a Comment